Amy Cole has lost her mind: The feel-good comedy of the year by Elizabeth McGivern

Author:Elizabeth McGivern [McGivern, Elizabeth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pernickety Publishing
Published: 2018-05-25T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

Elle picked me up, that evening, but didn’t come inside.

When I got into the car it was obvious she had been crying and I was stuck in that difficult situation of wondering if I should mention it or pretend I didn’t see her puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks. The socially awkward jerk within begged me to look out the window and talk about something else. The decent part of me prevailed and asked what was going on.

“Ah, nothing. Well, no, not nothing; I just don’t want to talk about it,” she said.

“Ok, we don’t have to. How about we talk about Neil Diamond and his hamsters?”

“I just find it funny that you can marry someone and be with them for over a decade and then they turn out to be this complete and utter turd posing in man skin?”

I took a guess and assumed she wasn’t finished with this particular rant, so I sat back and waited – it didn’t take long for me to be proved right.

"How did he fool me for this long that he was a nice guy, who cared about me and the kids when really he was just a raging arsehole who only cares about himself?"

Am I meant to answer that? Best stay quiet.

“He was meant to come over tonight and put the kids to bed while I was out with you and instead he sent his mother over. His mother? I can’t stand that shrew at the best of times and he sends her over because he ‘was tired’ from work and she let him go to bed while she offered to sit with the girls. What the actual fuck? Does he not think I’m tired? Does he not want to see his children?

Another silence, shit do I speak? Was she actually asking me this? Nope, this is dangerous ground. I’m saying nothing.

“I bet she’s just loving this. She gets her precious son home and the grandchildren she wants without the hassle of being nice to me. She’s never liked me – and the feeling is mutual. As for him? He is a joke of a man. Not even a man, or a father. A glorified sperm donor. Yes, that’s exactly what he is.”

For the remainder of the drive, she continued to mutter to herself about her family. I could only make out bits and pieces but I'm pretty sure I picked out ‘no jury would blame me'. That was the point I thought it best to speak up.

“Elle, we can totally do this another time. Perhaps at a time when you’re feeling a bit less murder-y?”

“What? No! You’re fine, this is exactly what I need. What’s the alternative? Sitting at home with my mother-in-law, both of us shooting daggers at each other across the room?”

We pulled up to the shopping centre and I automatically walked towards the giant discount clothing store until I felt a sharp tug on my arm.

“Looking for leopard print are we?” Elle teased, “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right.

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